Birthday.

I am now fifteen.

Don't feel much different.

I feel a bit bad for my family. Birthday and all. They haven't seen me since I ran off on my bike, looking terrified. That was just my family at my mum's house too. Haven't seen my dad and his fiancee in an even longer time...

On the bright side, I've gotten several people saying happy birthday to me!!! Vadiir, Doc, WhiteSuit...

Anyways, I'm sorry for not updating about the mission.

See, it went smoothly. Much more than I thought.

My husband is a badass.

Slightly? c:

Anyhow, the mission was to retrieve an artifact of some sort from Theurges. I honestly didn't know much about the mission details, but it was apparently important. I didn't quite understand why this was my first mission, either. WhiteSuit said that it may be to prove I was trustworthy? Skinnybitch himself decided it... Frankly, I wasn't of much use. If anything, probably in the way, seeing as WhiteSuit worried about me.

He irked me, though. I'm fairly sure he killed every single one of the Theurges we encountered. He had said he let the first boy go, but I didn't see how it ended. He told me to go onward. He then tried to sugarcoat the facts when it was obvious he killed another, later on. Saying something about not wanting me to see it...

This wife is not amused. I'm pretty sure he does that sort of thing quite often, too.

Yes, Mr. Butler, I am onto you.

There has also been something else I haven't regarded in these blog entries yet... The fact that the Commune here is so empty.

There were other Chosen here before--even a chef, but they're all gone now. I questioned WhiteSuit about it and he was very sullen, giving vague answers.

He, MistHeart, and HiveTree. The only ones left of a whole Commune, and WhiteSuit, someone who kills without much hesitation, didn't want to talk about it.

Of course I wasn't just going to nod my head and be okay with what little information he gave me. I found MistHeart and we had an... Awkward chat.

I'm not quite sure I want to post what the story was, here... At least... Not yet. Definitely not yet.

All I can say is that I'm so glad Doc and I evaded coming here for so long. So glad. I also don't quite like the sounds of HiveTree. I have yet to meet him, but he sounds frightening...

I also talked with WhiteSuit about The Cause and Utopia. It seems... When you go into Session, there's a contract of sorts. If you are ever to be free of the Master's control, you must Rebel? WhiteSuit said it was to show that humans can get right along without His help, without Him creating the Utopia...

I'm not sure what to think. I feel like I'm losing myself.

Normally I would have passed all of this off as rubbish, but listening to WhiteSuit talk about it... Gleam in his eyes...

It makes you want to just listen.

I suppose this blog title is fairly accurate, though. It was simply based off of a favorite computer game's name (Amnesia: The Dark Descent), but...

I'm scared of how things are changing. I don't want to have such a closed mind.

I'm scared of how I might change after Session.